The Power of Self-Talk
I had a plan today. A good one.
Until I watched it fly straight out the window.
The plan was to lock in - get up early, make my bed, get ready, eat breakfast, do my laundry and knock out some life admin in my now 'office' aka extract laptop and mouse out of my backpack and find a place to perch.
Instead, I put the kettle on and found myself getting teary over leftover pizza from last night's dinner.
In that moment, I noticed some self-talk creep in and not the good kind. Questions like - what are you doing, thinking, trying to be and achieve here with your no-plan plan? Already feeling overwhelm - frustration decided to rock up to this mini pity party too.
What bought this on? I'm not even sure but as I reflected, I realised I hadn't had the best sleep. My mind racing a million miles to nowhere, creating levels of anxiety that weren't helpful. I'm so used to working within a 9-5 structure, so this 'no plan, plan' approach might be something I'm projecting in 3D - when in reality, it may only need a 2D view. Maybe the odd mini freak-out about things like no regular income, realising quarter one is almost done and still feeling unsure about where I want to head, will probably be part of my norm for a wee while during this transition phase.
Daily view, Melbourne
Like a plus one invite, I also noticed feelings of guilt seep through. So, here I am sitting in my mates lovely townhouse, looking out onto a beautiful reserve where someone is walking their dog and a couple of ladies zooming around speed-walking like the Olympics. All while I stare at my pizza, teary-eyed lol I mean what in the actual 'pity party for one' is going on here?!
Now, don't get my wrong, I think expressing feelings is healthy. So why was I feeling bad for having my own dough topping moment for a solid 15 minutes this morning.
For me, it was the battle of negative vs. positive self-talk happening in real-time. Noticing one side exchanging with the other, fiercely competing for real estate in my mind. A part of me was happy to sit in the funk whilst other part firmly sticking up to the self-critic bully in the school yard. Actively trying to lift my mind up and out of the jungle gym of thoughts.
Holding up the mirror and fetching tools from my toolkit. I remember attending mindfulness training sessions and according to research - humans can have over 6000 plus thoughts a day with 90% repetitive. Must be some truth in that as I swear, I had a million in one thoughts in a night, alone - hence team no sleep!
However, I'm glad I had a tool to draw from. As an avid follower of Emma-Louise Elsey, founder of The Coaching Tools Company a helpful article and acronym I came across called T.H.I.N.K the acronym was originally created to help people be more kinder on social media. But its also helpful in everyday communications and for right now, it helped me jump start out of the negative self-talk.
So, next time you might feel a sense of overwhelm or if my situation resonated. Here's the acronym in full (ask yourself):
T - Is what I'm thinking true?
H - Is what I'm thinking helpful?
I - Is what I'm thinking inspiring?
N - Is what I'm thinking necessary?
K - Is what I'm thinking kind?
In amongst this mini turmoil. I realised (low key proud of) I achieved the following today regardless of how it started.
Worked through the jungle gym of thoughts - returning back to centre
Published this weeks Power in Change article
Laundry done (yet to be folded lol)
Visited my local coffee shop for an Iced Matcha with one vanilla shot
Key learning here for me was that, no matter how your day starts, we can only do our best to turn the ship around.
Until next time.
Speak soon.
Zee
Move with Change | Move with Confidence
