Hold Music, Patience and the Unexpected Test of Waiting
How a few minutes on hold can turn a simple wait into a test of patience.
My time in Australia has been awesome. In between taking in the sights and visiting different parts of Melbourne, I’ve also been doing a bit of life admin.
That meant calling a few organisations to sort things and what I discovered in the process was that nothing tests your patience quite like hold music.
You start the call calm, reasonable, hopeful even.
No worries, you think. I’ll just wait.
At first, you’re all good. You might check an email, tidy a few things or take a sip of your drink while you wait. You tell yourself it won’t be long, I've got time.
A few minutes pass and this is where you notice a slight tug of frustration.
You’re no longer just waiting. You are now very aware that you are waiting.
The same music loop keeps playing. That cheerful automated voice cuts in to remind you that your call is important, which starts to feel less convincing every time you hear it.
Then comes the suggestion to go online and complete your request there instead, as if you haven’t already tried that option before making the call having searched for their contact details.
A few more minutes go by and suddenly you’re in a completely different emotional state.
You start negotiating with yourself.
Should I hang up?
What if I lose my place in the queue? How long have I been waiting?
Is this even worth the wait? Why does this playlist sound like it was downloaded in the 90s and never reviewed again?
Just like that, hold music stops being background noise and becomes an experience.
A full emotional journey. First comes the frustration then annoyance.
The restless feeling where you’re still technically patient, but only just. You put the phone on speaker. You walk around. You sit down. You stand up again. You check the time like that’s somehow going to help.
You let out a dramatic sigh as if the person on the other end can somehow sense you are suffering through the line. Yet, somewhere in the middle of all that resistance, something strange happens.
You settle in.
Not because you want to but because you realise this is where you are for now.
You stop fighting the wait. You accept your place in the queue. You let the music keep playing. Whilst staring into the distance, your body is in the room but mentally you’ve drifted somewhere far beyond the saxophone loop.
It becomes the world’s most accidental mindfulness practice.
That’s what struck me about that moment and wondered if has anyone else felt the same?
It seems like such a small thing, a silly thing really but it brings so much to the surface.
Impatience, frustration, resignation and relief. Even a little burst of hope when the music cuts out and you think, oh yes, this is it, someone’s finally answered. Only to realise the hold music is replaying from start!
Then of course comes the funniest part. The moment someone picks up is never graceful.
The second you’ve mentally left the building the line clicks and suddenly it’s, “Hello? Yes, yes! Hi! I’m here!”
You go from distant trance to fully alert professional in a split second.
It’s funny because it’s true and it made me reflect on how easily frustration can come from something so trivial.
Out of all the challenges in the world, there I was being quietly tested by hold music.
Not by a major life event, big career decision or anything remotely serious. Just a phone queue, a repetitive playlist and the uncomfortable feeling of having no control over how quickly (or slowly) things were moving.
Yet, the feeling was real, the irritation and the temptation to hang up and deal with it another day was too real!
What I noticed was that I had to consciously push past it. I had to talk myself through it, in the moment saying, all good Zee, you’ve got this. Stay the course, get it sorted, in amongst the many times I just wanted to throw in the towel.
That’s the part that stayed with me because sometimes patience isn’t tested in the big moments. Sometimes it’s tested in the everyday things like life admin, experiencing the delays and pauses we didn’t choose.
Waiting for a reply, a decision, a progress report.
Waiting for someone else to do their part so you can move forward.
Work is no different - projects stall, approvals drag on and processes move slower than you’d like. You follow up once, then again, trying to be proactive without sounding like you’re chasing or hounding colleagues.
All you’re after is momentum, movement and progress but instead you get a pause.
Those pauses can bring out the worst in us. If we let frustration, irritation and assumptions heighten these moments when in the grand scheme of things, they aren't that deep.
The temptation to give the customer service person a ‘piece of your mind’ when they finally answer can be front and centre but is it even worth verbally expressing the thought that crossed your mind in the first place.
Moments like this are a reminder that we can’t always control the queue but a timely reminder of what we can control in how we choose to respond while we’re in the thick of hold music!
It doesn’t mean pretending delays are enjoyable. I think some hold music should come with a wellness warning.
The moment does highlight; how uncomfortable we can become when we don’t know how long something will take or when we’ll get an answer. Our brains like certainty, movement and signs that something is happening.
Hold music offers almost none of that.
Just repetition, waiting and in my opinion the ultimate test of whether we can stay grounded and keep a cool head when in all honesty we just want to blow our top!
So, here are three observations I took from my week:
Take a breath before your thoughts run off without you.
Interrupt the inner commentary with encouragement to counter frustration.
Instead of fighting the wait, see if you can tick other small tasks whilst on hold.
Finally finishing my call in Queenstown, March 2021.
Sometimes the most useful question isn’t, why is this taking so long?
It’s, how do I want to show up for myself, while I’m waiting?
Something as ordinary as hold music can reveal a lot about us. Testing your patience in ways you don’t expect before experiencing the relief of when your call is answered.
Pushing through something as trivial as hold music is still its own quiet kind of win.
Move with Change | Move with Confidence
