The Word That's Shrinking You

15 Jul

One word, less confidence.

There's one word I've been hearing a lot lately and catch myself saying it on the regular.

Without thinking, I don’t always notice it myself. It slips into conversations, shaping how we see ourselves and over time influencing how others might start to see us.

That word is just.

"I'm just helping today."

"I'm just an administrator."

"I'm just a student."

I recently met someone during a networking event who introduced themselves (during our interaction) with a warm smile, they said, "I'm just a student."

There was nothing negative in the way they said it. In fact, it felt like something probably said hundreds of times before.

Without really thinking, I replied, "You're not just a student. You are a student." As I could see a leader, entrepreneur, our future workforce who is studying now to contribute to society after graduating.

They smiled, and the conversation moved on, but it stayed with me for the rest of the evening.

It made me wonder how often we quietly diminish ourselves without even realising it. A mere four-letter word that can chip away, negatively impact our confidence.

The more I thought about it, the more I noticed how often we all do it. We soften our introductions, downplay our experience, and minimise the contribution we make. As though saying just somehow makes us sound more humble or approachable.

I don’t think confidence and humility are opposites. I believe you can be humble and still speak about yourself with respect. You can acknowledge what you do without believing you are more important than anyone else.

We can take pride in our role(s) without making our job, our identity. The word just isn’t a prerequisite to walking with humility. Often, it makes us smaller.

What struck me most about that conversation was that, from my perspective, there was nothing "just" about being a student.

I thought about the patience it takes, emotional resilience, time management, problem-solving and managing the workload followed by assessments, assignments or final exams.

The grit and motivation to keep adapting every single day are the things that came to mind for me and I was in awe. I remember my time as a student and every other day, I questioned my life choices, asking constantly “Why am I doing this again?”

Those are strengths organisations actively look for in leaders and teams or should be looking for. Seeing the person’s journey and what they have learned along the way. The attributes we tap into, interpersonal skills that are developed and don’t get me started on constant ability to regulate our emotions as we near assessment due dates – roller coaster!

Yet somehow, the word JUST, subtly yet powerfully reduces all of that to one word.

I still struggle with the word ‘just,’ it could be my way of avoiding sounding like I am bragging about my experience or achievements - protecting myself from judgement.

We’ve simply become so used to saying it that we no longer hear it. Whatever the reason, it is worth paying attention to because language has a funny way of shaping identity both internally and externally. The stories we repeatedly tell ourselves eventually become the stories we believe.

If every introduction starts with "I'm just...", it quietly reinforces that what we do is not particularly valuable.

So, here is a small experiment and challenge (me included). If you find yourselves doing this, for the next week, let’s remove the word just and replace it with I am.

Instead of saying, "I'm just helping today." say, "I am helping today."

Instead of, "I'm just in administration," try, "I work in administration."

Instead of, "I'm just a student" try, "I am currently studying (insert qualification name)."

Nothing about your role or chosen path has changed – the language is a self-empowered stance.

One of the things I’ve come to appreciate is that every role or season develops us. Whether you're leading a team, studying, serving customers or starting over, you're building capabilities that travel with you into the next chapter.

That is why I don't think anyone is “just” anything.

You’re learning, contributing, growing, doing your thing and adapting. All these things deserve to be spoken about with respect.

The core of Adaptability is to move with confidence by embodying the thing you have chosen to do, for you. If it brings you joy and aligned with your goals and still find yourself using the word “just”, to headline your introduction then pause and replace with “I am”.

Just remove “Just”!!

The observations I'd like to offer:

• The language we use shapes the beliefs we build.

• The purpose of humility is not to make yourself smaller.

• Confidence begins by removing unnecessary words – what other words could be holding you back?

A moment to self-reflect:

If you replaced every "I'm just..." with "I am..." this week, what would change?

Maybe not in how other people see you but in how you begin to see yourself.